Day 11: Dropping In

It used to be OK to drop in on your friends for a visit. In todays over scheduled world dropping in unannounced has become fully rude. Everything from play dates for your kids to simply having coffee with a friend needs to be scheduled weeks in advance. Part of the problem is that the world has become more competitive and this includes parenting. "Competitive parenting", where parents are constantly comparing themselves and their kids to others who seem more organized, more together isn't a new phenomena but rather an important part of human nature.



To evolutionary maintain a healthy population, individuals within a given gene pool should be comparing themselves as a relative gage of success the problem lies in the definition of success. Beyond the biological success of passing on your genes, individual success really should be about living each day as fully and happily as possible. A person should spend their time reducing the frequency of stressful circumstances and, using an independent individual measure, do as many things that make them happy as possible. Living like this is not selfish and does not mean neglecting ones responsibilities as acting selfishly leads to loneliness and neglecting responsibility leads to stressful circumstances.

We instead allow ourselves to be crushed by social expectations and generally feel helpless, like life is happening to us beyond our personal control. Changing the definition of success even just a little may help bring a perspective that allows the false importance of social expectations (manifested as over scheduling) to be realized and maybe we can all slow down enough to figure out what is really important in our lives. With only 16,425 days left in my life I hope I can live happily as many days as possible.